50 Ways to Annoy Gaara
by Random Mongoose
Summary: Come one, come all! Read on to learn how you can annoy our favorite schizophrenic insomniac and make this world a deadlier place!


**Simply put, 50 ways to annoy Gaara**

Ask him why he doesn't tell Lee to give his eyebrows back.

Splash water onto his face and shout "Damn you, water-proof eyeliner!"

Hide under his desk. When he sits down, grab his leg and whisper "My precious."

Throw squeaky toys in his direction. Randomly.

When he is meditating, creep up behind him and thunder "GARRA…I AM YOUR FATHER!!!"

Write "Property of Baby Sandman" on his gourd.

During one of his particularly boring speeches, scream, gasp, faint, or do all of the above at random times.

When he gives you his famous "death glare", snap a photo, wave it around and exclaim "YES! I'm gonna post this on Myspace!"

(In reference to #8) Post "My boyfriend is simply adorkable" under the photo (this works with both male and female annoyers).

Make him play Twister with you, then accuse him of being a pervert when you get into a knot.

Give him a keyboard and ask him to type his name using his elbows.

Tell him that Cingular and Sprint are conspiring against the Sand village.

Bribe him to buy you an expensive digital camera.

(In reference to #13) Then ask for batteries.

Yell "PINATA! PINATA!!!" and hit him with a bat.

Take him to a sunny beach and bury him in sand.

Scratch that last idea…

Tell him that Jiminy Cricket is very disappointed.

Point to a certain webpage and ask him what Sandcest is.

Ask him if he'd prefer purple eyeliner instead of black.

Ask him what kind of ice cream he likes, then go out and buy the wrong flavor.

Toss him a dictionary and tell him to look up "schizophrenic".

Get out a yearbook, point to Ino and shout "OH MY GOD GARRA! YOU DIDN'T TELL ME THAT YOU GO TO SCHOOL WITH PARIS HILTON'S YOUNGER SISTER!" **(A/N: It's ok if you don't think that this one is funny-it was an inside joke)**

Buy him a bottle of Germ-X for those little "freak accidents" he seems to run into a lot.

Give a group of aggressive midgets 'selective disinformation' about Gaara's opinions about them.

Give him a burned CD of all your favorite Rock Lee speeches.

Go ahead. Give him a "love fern".

Declare Tuesday as "Hug a Friend" Day.

Hug him.

Gaara-licious has a nice ring to it, don't you think?

Ask him which is better: vegetarian corn dogs or spinach roll-ups.

Shove a carton of orange juice in his face and hysterically screech: "Concentrate! Aren't you concentrating? See?!?! Nothing is happening!!!"

Ask him to talk to his cat about catnip. Good owners don't let good cats do drugs.

Accuse him of stealing Kakashi's porno book.

Place Mr. Yuck stickers all over his gourd.

Stencil in some eyebrows when he's "resting".

Tell him that you're having a Big Mac Attack.

Bribe an old man to walk up to him and lecture him on how drinking soda before you turn 16 can affect bone growth and causes problems and defects in pregnancy.

Get him a puppy, telling him that he needs emotional companionship.

Smile evilly at him and while popping off a few dandelion heads.

Make him watch Grey's Anatomy with you every Thursday night.

Delete his myspace, considering he has one.

Wake him up at 4 in the morning and tell him your nightmare about how the dandelions tried to pop your head off.

Get "Wild Eyez" contacts and tell him you're possessed by Shukata, an evil spirit that was locked away inside a perfume bottle.

Constantly ask him who came first, the chicken or the egg.

(In reference to #45) Then repeatedly tell him the opposite of what he says.

Get two identical dresses, then ask him which one is better.

Beg him to be Santa so that you can sit on his lap and tell him that all you want is what is on the shelf of the biggest mall with the most expensive price tag.

A few cans of Pepsi, fifty packets of Pop Rocks, and 2,000 origami cranes later…

Tell him that he is The One. Follow the Orange Fox.

**Authoress' Note:**** Wow! I've had this on my computer for a while…so I made some tiny adjustments and decided to post it. I would like to say that I do not own Naruto, Lord of the Rings, Star Wars, Myspace, Twister, Cingular and Sprint, Jiminy Cricket, Paris Hilton, Germ-X, How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, Fergilicious, Concentrate, Mr. Yuck, the Big Mac, Grey's Anatomy, Wild Eyez, Santa, Pepsi, Pop Rocks, The Matrix, and a few other ideas. Some are from my own personal experiences, (Like that soda/pregnancy thing? It was creepy!) and others belong to friends and fellow authors. Anyway, thanks for reading, and please review!**


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